Dear Dev:

Learning to live... It should be natural, but it isn't. You have
struggled for so long, never feeling accepted or appreciated. You have
asked for my opinion, so, in response let me say that I believe you can't
get those things from other people, you have to give them to yourself.

Dev, everything we are, or hope to be, what we want out of life, how
we obtain the things we want, how we deal with other people, and how they
deal with us, how we cope with the problems in our lives, how open we are
to other peoples concerns, what we give of ourselves, and what we receive
in return, it's all an "INSIDE" job.

Everything in life requires input from within. Everyone has to have some form of
belief or value system to fall back on, and all of that comes from the inside.
This is the anchor that keeps you steady in rough waters.

We don't come equipped with our beliefs and value systems in place.
We have to learn and form them on our own.

Everyone that has beliefs and a value system has made some effort
to get them. And it takes effort, and sometimes pain, to keep them
constantly growing and evolving.

Thinking of yourself as a good companion and friend is more than
just wanting to have someone in your life to share it with, it is more
than where you will take them, or what you will buy them.

Wanting people to show you concern and courtesy, is more than just wanting it...

You have to be able to reach inside and KNOW what you have to give,
and what you are ABLE to give, in return, and I am not talking about
surface things. I am talking about inside things.

Life is a circle... and that is more than a pretty cliché, it's a fact.

If you want to receive......you have to give.

If you want to be seen for who you are and what you believe, you have to be willing
to look for those things in others..

You have to know for yourself, who you are and what you believe.

If you are only looking at people on the surface, that is all they will see in you.

If you want concern and caring from the people in your life, you have to offer it to them, in return....

If you want "acceptance"..... you have to accept.

Everything is a circle, and all of the important things come from within.

The choices you make for your life, and the direction you wish it to follow Dev,
are yours. You have to shape your life to suit you. No one else.

No one can tell you what to believe or do.

Know yourself, accept yourself, build a value system that you feel comfortable with, and
have the courage to live it.

Know that the real pleasures in life come from within, just like the real pain..

Know that when you are having a bad day, the only thing others can really offer you is
support and their presence, you are the one that has to look inside and find the courage
and strength to find the answers that work for you, and continue with the journey.

Know that sometimes all we have that we can rely on is what we find when we look inside.

Know that the things you want other people to see in you, is also what they need you to see in them.

Know not only what is important to you.......but why.

Know that you will come across people that will not care about you..... NO MATTER what you
have to offer them, move on.

Get off the surface....but, know that growth comes WHEN we are prepared to deal with it.
It cant be forced.

Know that it makes NO difference what I, or anyone tell you to believe. You have to decide
what you believe, and live it.

Know that when I have offered you bits of insight that I may use for myself, I do so knowing
that it isn't a truth, unless it works for you.

Know that there is no shame in being depressed, or wanting peace and
enjoyment out of life....and not know how you are going to find it...

Know that because someone does not feel the same way, or understand what you feel,
it does NOT make what you feel invalid.

Believe in yourself....others will follow.

If you need more..... give more. Life is a circle, you will GET it back.

If you cant make your own life better.....start by trying to improve someone else's.

If you are doing ANY of these things, your life will get better, you will attract people
to you, you will find something that brings you peace and happiness.

It is not possible to meet people, but never find one that likes you, if you are doing
even some of these things....