Unless I Quit Lying

What I perceive myself,
Deceive myself,
Try to believe myself to be,
It's a fairy tale,
It's not really me.

I pretend not to know,
I don't want to face up.
I can't help myself,
Unless I quit lying,
I'll never know.

Tell that story to God.
And he'll just laugh.
For him it's not new.
The story is quite old.
It's the actors that change,
Never the role.

I know what it is that I am.
I can pretend that I'm something else.
I might even convince us both.
It doesn't change anything except
The punch line to our joke.

I'm just a clown
In this circus of the absurd.
Someday it will be clear,
God understands,
He's willing to wait,
It's nice to come home,
Even if it's late.

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Copyright © 1999 by pammik. All rights reserved. This work may not
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